I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
