well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
