Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
