So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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