i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
