I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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