At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
