Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
