So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Moan for me like Helen Keller
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
