All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
