All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
