hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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