i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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