I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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