Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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