I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
