he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
