i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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