someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
