So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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