no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
