she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
