wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
