i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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