ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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