it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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