Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
