She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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