I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
