used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
