dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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