is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
