It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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