i would punch a child for taco bell
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
