I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
