Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
