The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
