next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
