oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
