Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Houston, we have a squirter
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
