Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
