Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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