Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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