I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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