it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
