I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
