It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
