so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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