I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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