two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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