Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize