You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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