I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
