I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
