Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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