i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
