Life is so much better after having sex.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
